Since my last post yet it feels like an eternity.
Guess that’s what happens when writing at least every other days ceases and life happens.
My life has seriously become imbalanced with my long list of to-do’s somehow shifting the gravitational force and wreaking nothing short of havoc in my daily activities.
At a certain point, all I can do is take it one day at a time. One task at a time. One tantrum at a time and just breathe. I must remember why I work so hard and what motivates me to keep moving even though my body may disagree.
“Enjoy your life, no matter how hard it may seem. When life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, show the world you have a million reasons to smile.”
…I’d like to know why time goes by slower than freakin’ molasses?!
Let’s just say that the last two days have been dragging arse kinda like walking behind seniors on senior night at Hometown Buffet. No offense to seniors or Hometown because I love them both (well not-so-much Hometown but the kids love it).
It seems that the various stages of grief like to visit me randomly throughout the day. According to several online self-help grief websites, the numbers vary from 5 to 7, but nevertheless, they have been ever present. A not-so-welcome hello! to Denial, Anger, Disbelief, Bargaining and Acceptance. Well actually I don’t mind the visit from acceptance but I feel like a bouncing ball. Going back and forth with my emotions while at the drop of a hat (like when a memory of Angel pops in my mind) my smile fades and I become an inconsolable waterfall. Even driving around town makes my face turn sour just thinking about where he may have been running for hours and hours. I have decided that I need to focus on the good times, fun memories and most of all be positive. Rather than be sad that he’s gone, I am doing my best (though easier said than done) to be happy that he was a part of our lives and brought so much happiness these past three and a half years.
C’mon hourglass, run your course. Until then, positive thoughts and maybe a few woosahs here and there.