For the record, I was never one to share religious thoughts or quotes with others very often. Sometimes I would question why people who constantly do it, do it. I’ve realized that people aren’t necessarily doing it to preach to others per se, but rather to remind themselves of the path they’re on. Now this may not apply to all, but in my case, I share what I share to perhaps allow another to use what I provide but more so to be my own reminder. I believe that no matter what you believe in, whether God, Buddha, Jesus Christ, etc., there is a foundation for whatever you believe in. This foundation is extremely important because it shapes who you are, who you will become and your belief system in which you will share with all those around you. Some maybe be saying, well I don’t believe in a higher power or being, that’s okay because you still have an opinion which you stay true to and that may continue to be passed down to others. So why all this talk?
I strongly believe that our influence spans beyond what we comprehend. Your wave hello to a stranger can alter their day in a way you have no idea. That one conversation that you have with a friend, co-worker, significant other can shift their mindset to unlock the potential they needed to get to their next level in life. Conversely, negativity can have the opposite reaction. I’m not a preacher and I’m barely a writer (yes, I need to do it more), but what I will say is that our words influence our actions and our actions dictate our influence (to a degree of course). So with that being said, speak VICTORY into others especially yourself and have awareness in the influence that you have in this world. We have the power to bring about change in others, influence others and become the best versions of ourselves while being that light others may sometimes need. Don’t dim your light for anyone. Shine bright and may God Bless you all (or whoever you believe in).
two years + a few months later…
a divorce. a death. a new outlook on life. those are just a few of the things that i’ve been consumed with since my last entry. part of me is trying to figure out where to start or pick up from but there are so many occurrences that may deserve their own post. all that i know is that life is good. life has so many things to be thankful for. maybe that’s what divorce does to you. or maybe that’s what death of someone super close does as well. life is short. we’ve all heard that damn saying time and time again but it doesn’t really sink in until the unmentionable or the unfortunate occurs and we are staring into the sky looking for a sign to continue to forge ahead despite adversity. adversity always shows it’s pretty little face. adversity will make sure to hit you the hardest when you’re already trying to maintain your balance. adversity will remind you that you haven’t faced the worst yet. adversity will smile at you with tears streaming down your face and remind you that you are stronger than you ever believed yourself to be. thank you adversity for your oh-so-amazing reminders of your presence time and time again in the last couple of years. i could not be the same person today without your guidance (if you want to call it that) which is the honest to goodness truth. so on that note, welcome back blogging monica because i’ve truly missed you and reading your inner thoughts. even if no one reads this, writing is the most therapeutic thing outside of being at the beach watching the waves as the sun sets or cuddling my now deceased husky aka best friend Miles Jacob.
more to come…
Yes, the title of this post sounds like it’s some revelation, but in a sense it truly is. Today was a day full of retrospect with me trying to understand, rationalize and most of all accept where my life currently stands. Growing up, I learned how to lead but most of all follow. We are taught at a very young age to be obedient, to follow directions and to stay on the path. I began obsessed with being that perfect child in order to make up for the many shortcomings in my life. As I got older, fitting in and going with the flow or the crowd became less important. I started coming into my own and learning how to fly even if no one else was brave enough to do the same. My current experiences are no different when it comes to finding that “ah ha” moment and realizing that you were reading the directions wrong when you first started. When that moment does hit though, it’s as if you’ve found your reading glasses of life and things are much clearer and your perspective is forever changed.
This last week has tested my strength. Tested my hunger. Tested my motivation and made me realize who I have become, why am I the person I am and perhaps alluded to the person I want to be in the future. What prompted this realization? Well, I’ve
embarked on a new and exciting journey. For the last couple weeks, I’ve been questioning if I’ve made the right choice or not. I’ve been questioning if I am equipped to do what’s necessary to be successful. I’ve been walking quietly in the background with mounds of uncertainty which obviously transcend in my communication with others. I am not timid, nor do I settle for what life hands me. Normally I forge ahead, unafraid, unapologetic, unphased at those who may represent an obstacle. I have allowed others to influence my success by allowing their opinions, their skepticism and lack of support affect me. I am a rising star and will claim my position in that upper echelon of success that very few people are able to reach. I need to let go of my fears of swimming against the current, against the norm and in unknown territory. In the next year, I will reach my six figure income all that I have been so deserving of earning and help people change their lives. You can either ride with me or move out of the way. Whatever you decide is okay with me, because I am okay with me and that’s all that matters.
I sit here listening the rustling of the trees and feel the cool breeze sweeping into my bedroom. Deep breaths…in and out. One more time to hopefully take in whatever strength I can gain from Mother Nature as she joins me from the slightly cracked window. I don’t consider myself an outdoorsy person as I don’t hike as often as I’d like to nor do I go biking like some. I do, however, know that the outdoors is what centers me when I need it the most. The fresh air helps me to reset whatever is has somehow shut down within me and restarts my body and soul. While closing my eyes, I visualize everything that I must accomplish today, tomorrow and during the week. I tell myself it will all be okay and will get done when it needs to get done. I think this to myself as I have my legs tucked underneath my Ikea covers with my old man doggy at my feet. I suppose if I think it, it will be or at least that’s what I’m hoping for. Visualize and manifest. Harnessing my power to get a grip on the silent chaos going on in my head.
So I took my little ballerina to take her costume photos today and realized that her interactions with her fellow ballerinas were too sweet to not capture. While I am far from being a professional photographer, none of that matters when you are able to capture a smile like this.
seven months has passed since my last blog post. here’s a pretty tree picture in hopes of more posts to come. happy sunday.
Day one of a new cleanse and I want to stop already. Having tried an amazing one first, completely tainted my expectations of this new and different one. Should’ve listened to my friend when he told me that the first one I tried was way better. Two more days of suffering only because I’m not a quitter. Although I may have to starve a little if it means skipping the ones I dislike with ginger. My stomach physically hates me. I would too though. To be continued…
It’s my dad’s birthday today. He passed away when I was 15 and although I visited him from time to time, I barely knew him. From what I could tell, he seemed to love me. The fact that’s even a statement seems odd. What’s more ironic is the fact that my youngest son looks just like him. He is my constant reminder of him. Perhaps the love and affection he provides somehow transcends what once seemed lost. Go figure my son’s name is Phoenix. Happy Birthday Dad.
I haven’t really posted here much, obviously. For some reason, writing down my daily thoughts seems much more time-consuming and slightly more boring in comparison to posting a photo on Instagram. So rather than express it all in a paragraph of “here’s a recap of what you missed”, I’d much rather do a countdown of most recent thoughts. It’s much more interesting when you add numbers or bullet points to sentences, so here goes…
1) Just recently discovered discount travel sites and I think I’m seriously in lust, not love though because that requires too much commitment.
2) Carrying a phone without a phone case is like a ticking time bomb. All it takes is one fall and it’s game over. It’s going on week 3, so apparently I enjoy taking risks all too much.
3) I have a not-so-secret obsession with left-handedness and believe that I should have been born left-handed and my ambidextrous abilities only solidify that statement.
4) I’ve been miserable with the California winter weather which means my spoiled self could never move anywhere that has true winters. Let’s keep it above 60 degrees pretty please.
5) Lastly, my mind has already fast forwarded to summer. Feels like June not February, so clearly I preferred to bypass a bunch of birthdays.
And that’s all she wrote.